When everything else fails...

Flashback: 2011. Welcome 2012! :)

2011-12-31T22:32:00.003+08:00

I've been very busy lately that I don't even have time blogging :( Sorry my semi online diary :( I still love you please don't doubt that *hugs*

I can't say that 2011 was my year. Honestly, it wasn't my year. I've been having issues with money. I've been very lazy, complicated, emotional. I was so sickly too. I wasn't able to read lots of books this year. Basta it was not my year haha! XD

Pero in fairness, super daming nangyari sakin this year, significant things. I've had the chance to travel alone, to travel abroad again after 14 years, to have my own band, to perform at the office, to try new things, and to fall in love again :) Yun yun eh XD

I'm not sure if this is the last time we will be able to celebrate new year kasi nga sabi nila end of the world na ng 2012. I do hope na hindi totoo yung end of the world chenes na yun. I am also hoping na 2012 will be my year :) I believe there'll be a lot of changes na mangyayari this coming 2012. I can feel it in my bones XD And naniniwala din ako na for the better yung changes :)

Wala na kong ibang sasabihin haha! Basta let's all enjoy this night kasi last day of the year na. Yay! :) No regrets people! Just love <3 Stay clean. Naks me ganun? XD Leave behind all bad vibes and welcome 2012 with a smile. Let's be amazing this 2012. Fuck bad vibes! We will rock this new year! :)

Choi Seung Hyun!

2011-11-04T00:25:00.002+08:00

I love you! :) Happy birthday, Yobo! :) Lots and lots and lots and lots of love! Stay healthy baby! :) I hope you have the bestest birthday ^_^ Have a safe trip to Europe alongside Big Bang :) I love you! ^_^

Image Source: BBUpdates

Ako na bitter. So what?

2011-10-23T20:55:00.004+08:00

Dahil bitter ako, naghahanap ako ng tumblr about being bitter. Tapos nabasa ko to:

Sige na! Kayo na ang sweet! Tangina! Maghihiwalay din kayo =))

Bwahahaha! At natawa ako. Mga bitter nga naman =)) Naisip ko na din yan minsan. Tipong, sussss maghihiwalay din kayo! Wala lang bwahahahaha O_O

Bagyo.

2011-10-22T20:25:00.002+08:00

Medyo inaalat ako ngayon sa lahat ng bagay. Nakakaasar. Alam nyo yun? Kung may araw na puro rainbows everywhere. May araw naman na puro asin everywhere. How sad T_T

Hindi ba, normal lang naman ang...

2011-10-13T11:54:00.002+08:00

Magalit sa mga taong sinaktan ka? Syempre, kelangan mo din sila patawarin pero it takes time. Hindi naman yun magic na bigla na lang mawawala. Normal lang din naman siguro na maging cold ka sa kanila. Tsaka syempre by instinct ang lumalabas na ugali mo pag kaharap mo yung taong nanakit sayo eh yung masunget na side mo. Defense mechanism. Ayaw mo na kasi masktan ulet ng taong yun. Tsaka hello? Anong gusto nyong gawin ko? Mag-iindak ako sa tuwa? At sabihin sa inyong: "Uy! Isa pa nga! Ang sarap eh! Ang saya saya masaktan! Ibang klaseng high! Ulit ulit! One more time pare!" So parang tanga lang ako ganun? Tapos tatanungin mo ko kung galit ako? Ikaw kaya saktan ko na bongga, tingnan ko kung di ka magalit or mainis kahit konti. Di ko alam kung manhid ka or sadyang tanga lang. Kakastress! Wag mo kong kausapin! Ewan ko sayo! *sigh* Eh di ako na ang bitter. Actually, di masamang maging bitter. Ang ibig sabihin lang nun eh natuto ka at ayaw mo ng masaktan ng paulit ulit dahil lang sa iisang dahilan. Tanong ka pa dyan kung galit ako? Magsama kayong dalawa. Che! Don't talk to me. Sabi nga ni pareng Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, If I love you, what business is it of yours? Chosero ka!

Tonight dance.

2011-10-13T10:33:00.002+08:00

Naalala ko yung Tonight dance. Yung nagwawave yung hands from left to right sa tapat ng dibdib mo. Ilang araw kong ginagawa yun dito sa office. Kahit sa meeting. Naiirita na sila sakin dahil paulit ulit ako parang unlimited. Wala lang. Namiss ko to :D Favorite band ko pala to ever. Big Bang, my loves, my sweet <3

Alam nyo malaki yung naging role ng Big Bang sa buhay ko. Para makamoveon at para maging masaya haha! Sa panahon na sobrang sad ko, sila lang nagpapasaya sakin. Drama no? Kadiri much! =))

Please vote for them pala. Thanks muchie! :) VOTE VOTE VOTE! :D Unlimited pala yan. Pwedeng paulit ulit na mag vote :)

I can do this!

2011-10-12T18:08:00.004+08:00

Utang na galang, wag nyo kong kaawaan dahil lang wala akong boylet. Ako na lang maaawa sa sarili ko. I can do this! =)) Ewan ko ah. Lately talaga yung mga sinasabi nyo sakin eh nakakaloka.

Girlfriend1: Ok lang yan Sabel. Hindi inaantay yun. Kusang dadating yun.
Girlfriend2: Eh malungkot ka naman talaga!
Girlfriend3: Hahanapan ka na lang namin ng boylet.
Girlfriend4: Wag kang magalala. May darating na 10 times better than him.
Girlfriend5: May kilala ka bang pwedeng ireto kay Sabel?

Tapos may isang nakawiwindang na revelation. May jowa na si Bessy! Anak ng tinapa haha! Wala na kong kakaladkarin na best friend dahil busy na sya sa bowa nya.

Alam nyo, ok lang naman ako. Kahit malungkot, ok lang ako. Dati naman ako mag-isa. Mag-isa nanunuod ng sine. Mag-isa gumagala. Mag-isa nagshoshopping. Autistic kaya ko dati. Pwede naman ibalik diba? :p Si Lord lang kasi ang galing magbiro. Nagpatikim pa, may sapak naman yung binigay tulad ko. Di tuloy kami compatible haha XD

Ok lang talaga ko. Kahit malungkot. Sabi nga ni Mama: "Ok lang kahit wala kang love life o wala kang pera. Meron namang nagmamahal sayo ng sobra sobra. Ako."

Sweet ng nanay ko no? Hahaha! I love you too mudra <3

And here I am getting upset over petty things.

2011-10-09T21:44:00.002+08:00

I don't usually share stuff like this but this story touched my heart whether this is true or not. Nakakahiya lang kasi. Ang lakas lakas ko magreklamo over small things. Di ko naisip na maraming tao na walang wala pero despite that, di sila nakakalimot magpasalamat :(

Somewhere in Milaor, Camarines Sur, there lived a fourth grader boy who would follow this route to school everyday: He has to cross the rugged plains and cross the dangerous highway where vehicles are recklessly driving to and from.
Once past this highway, the boy would take a short cut, passing by the Church every morning just to say Hi to God, and faithfully say his, "Magandang umaga po" in Bicol dialect. He was faithfully being watched by a Priest who was happy to find innocence so uplifting in the morning,
"Kamusta, Andoy? Papasok ka na?"
"Opo padre ... "he would flash his innocent grin, the priest would be touched. He was so concerned that one day he talked to Andoy.
"From school...", he advised "Do not cross the highway, you can pass through the Church and I can accompany you to the other side of the road...that way I can see that you are home safe...."
"Thank you father ... "
"Why don't you go home ... why do you stay in this church right after school?"
"I just want to say 'Hi' to my friend, God," and the priest would leave the boy to spend time beside the altar, talking to himself, but the priest was hiding behind the altar to listen to what this boy has to say to his heavenly FATHER.
"You know my math exam was pretty bad today, but I did not cheat although my seatmate is bullying me for notes... I ate one cracker and drank my water, Itay had a bad season and all I can eat is this cracker.
Thank you for this! I saw a poor kitten who was hungry and I know how he feels so I gave my last cracker to him ... funny but I am not that hungry.
Look, this is my last pair of slippers ...I may have to walk barefoot next week, you see this is about to be broken... but it is okay....at least I am still going to school.... Some say we will have a hard season this month, some of my classmates have already stopped going to school .... please help them get to school again, please God?
....Oh, you know, Inay hit me again, it is painful, but I know this pain will pass away, at least I still have a mother.... God, you want to see my bruises? I know you can heal them.... Here... here and .... oh ...blood ....I guess you knew about this one huh? Please don't be mad at Inay, she is just tired and she worries for the food in our table and my schooling that is why she hits us....Oh, I think I am in love ... there's this pretty girl in my class, her name is Anita ... do you think she will like me? Anyway, at least I know you will always like me, I don't have to be anybody just to please you, you are my very best friend! Hey your birthday is two days from now!!! Aren't you excited? I am! Wait till you see, I have a gift for you . but it is a surprise! I hope you will like it! Oooops, I have to go ..." then he stood up and calls out, "Padre, padre, I am finished talking to my friend ....
youcan accompany me to the other side of the road now"
This routine happens everyday. Andoy never fails. Father Agaton shares this every Sunday to the people in his church because he has not seen a very pure faith and trust in God, a very positive look at negative situations.
One Christmas day, Father Agaton was sick so he could not make it in the Church, he was sent to the hospital. The Church was left to 4 manangs who would chant the rosary in 1000 miles per hour, would not smile and would always find fault in what you do, they were also very well versed in cursing if you irritate them! They were kneeling, saying their kilometric rosary when Andoy, coming from his Christmas party,playfully dashed in.
"Hello God! I ......"
"P----!! (a curse) bata ka!! Alam mo nang may nagdadasal!! Alis!!"

Poor Andoy was so terrified, "Where's Father Agaton? He is supposed to help me cross the street ... and to be able to cross the street I will have to pass by the back door of this church .not only that, I have to greet Jesus. It is His birthday, I have a gift right here....

" Just as he was about to get the gift out of his shirt, the manang pulled his shirt and threw him out of the church. "Susmaryosep!!! (does the sign of the cross fervently) Alis kang bata ka, kung hindi matatamaan ka!!!
So the boy had no choice but to cross the dangerous side of the road in front of the church. He crossed. A fast moving bus came in.
There was a blind curve. The boy was protecting his gift inside his shirt, so he was not looking. There was so little time. Andoy died on the spot. A lot of people crowded the poor boy, the body of a lifeless young boy ...
Suddenly, out of nowhere a tall man in a pure white shirt and pants, a face so mild and gentle, but with eyes full of tears... He came and carried the boy in His arms. He was crying. Curious bystanders nudged the man in white, and asked,
"Excuse me sir, are you related to this child?
Do you know this child?"
The man in white, His face mourning and in agony, looked up and answered,
"He was my best friend . " was all he said. He took the badly wrapped gift in the bloody chest of the lifeless boy, and placed it near His heart.
He stood up and carried the boy away and they both disappeared in sight.
The crowd was curious ...
On Christmas Eve, Father Agaton learned of the shocking news. He visited the house, and wanted to verify about the man in white. He consulted the parents of Andoy.
"How did you know that your son died?"
"A man in white brought him here." sobbed the mother. "What did he say?"
The father answered, "He did not say anything. He was mourning. We do not know him and yet he was very lonely about our son's death, as if he knew our son very well. But there was something peaceful and unexplainable about him.
He gave me my son, and then he smiled peacefully. He brushed my son's hair away from his face and kissed him on his forehead, then he whispered something..."
"What did he say?"
"He said to my boy..." the father began, "Thank you for the gift .... I will see you soon ... you will be with me..." and the father of the boy continued, "and you know for a while, it felt so
wonderful ... I cried, but I do not know why....all I know is I cried tears of joy .... I could not explain it, Father, but when that man left, something peaceful came over me, I felt a deep sense
of love inside ... I could not explain the joy in my heart, I knew my boy is in heaven now but...tell me, Father, who is this man that my son talks to everyday in your church, you should know because you are always there ... except at the time of his death ......"Father Agaton suddenly felt the tears welling in his eyes, with
trembling knees, he murmurred, " ... He was talking to no one ......
but .. GOD...."

By: Emman Dela Cruz Dumasig

Bakit ba?

2011-10-08T21:16:00.001+08:00

Bakit nyo ba ko pinapamigay? Bakit nyo ba ko hinahanapan ng boylet? Parang lahat na lang ng kilala ko gusto na kong ipamigay sa ibang tao...na lalake. O_O Hindi ba kayo masaya na single ako? Kita nyo naman kung gaano ako nakakadiri nung in love ako diba? Wala akong bukambibig kung hindi yung boylet ko bwahahaha XD Sorry. Di ko lang talaga gets. Sabi ni Jeck, kasi hindi daw ako masaya. Sabi nino? Wala lang akong pera kaya di ako masaya haha! Sa Decemeber masaya na ulit ako mwahahaha! *evil laughter* Para kasing ang pathetic ko tuloy dahil lang wala akong boylet. Pero natouch naman ako sa effort nyo gels :) Pero wag nyo na ko hanapan hehe. Hayaan nyo yun. Darating din sya. Hayaan na muna natin syang magkaligaw ligaw para pag dating nya sakin, natuto na sya at hindi na sya magkakamali pa. Perfect sya ganun? Hahaha XD Masaya naman ako :) Kaya bigyan nyo na lang ako ng sideline kasi wala ng mas sasaklap pa sa wala ka na ngang love life, wala ka pang pera hahaha! :))

I'm still alive! :)

2011-09-04T14:13:00.002+08:00

No update for weeeeeekkkssss! I'm sorry :p I just want to say that I'm still alive :))

-> I just had my birthday days ago (Aug 29) and I'm 22! Boohoo! Getting old T_T
-> I'm so excited for me and my officemate's HK-Macau trip on the 21st! Yay! My first out of the country trip since 1998. That's after 13 years? LOOOL XD
-> I still adore Tabi and he's in NYC! :D
-> I'm still very busy at work because of the migration. I refuse to work haha but I've no choice so yeah.
-> What else hmmm...I'm ok now. Things are less complicated between us I guess. You know who :D Yeah, I'm still in love. Errrrr XD

Happy birthday GD baby! :)

2011-08-18T11:25:00.003+08:00

Happy birthdayyyyyyyy Jiyongieeeee!!!! :) <3
Saengil chukha hamnida!!! <3

I'm going back to being me.

2011-08-08T00:52:00.000+08:00

And yes baby, I'll be bulletproof from now on :)

I don't want to do this anymore.

2011-08-03T19:14:00.003+08:00

Just hearing your voice today makes me want to cry over and over again.
I don't want to cry tonight again.
I don't want to cry anymore.

Thank you for making me smile :)

2011-07-31T23:15:00.000+08:00

You've saved me a million times honey. Thank you :)

I'm hurting...

2011-07-31T22:57:00.000+08:00

Sobra :( My fault :( Bawal magdrama! Bwahahaha :(

Sarap uminom.

2011-07-30T23:55:00.002+08:00

Parang ang sarap uminom ng bonggang bongga. Yung tipong parang wala ng bukas. Yammy! XD

Ako na ang adik.

2011-07-30T23:22:00.000+08:00

Pag andyan, ayoko. Pag wala na, tsaka ko gusto. Ampness talaga Sabel XD

Isang maulan na umaga...

2011-07-27T00:21:00.003+08:00

Sa isang jeep sa Pasig...

Ako: Ma, bayad po *abot ng bayad*
Driver: San to?
Ako: Pioneer po, isa lang.
Driver: Estudyante?
Ako: *smiles* Hindi po :)

Oha! Oha! Mukha pa din akong studyante haha! :) Ligaya ko eh no :))

Serious stuff :)

2011-07-27T00:20:00.000+08:00

Another blog! Yipeeee! :) -- http://soulfulrainbow.blogspot.com/

I'm sorry :(

2011-07-16T22:30:00.001+08:00

I'm tired of watching me hurt you
I'm tired of being the teardrops on your face
I'm tired of loving this way

I'll set your heart free
And if you're mine you'll come flying back someday
I'm tired of loving this way

--> I'm sorry :( Believe it or not I'm hurting too. And I know I'm really gonna be sad when you go back to her. And I'm gonna cry and get drunk too. But I know setting you free is the best thing to do. Because I'm only gonna hurt you. I'm sorry :(( And yes, I think you had me a long time ago. You had my heart and I just didn't know it.

Magulo ako.

2011-07-07T11:33:00.000+08:00

Sobra. Ang labo ko pa. Ako na. Ako na ang adik! XD

One day. Isang araw. At si Ateng.

2011-06-13T01:48:00.004+08:00

Hindi po ako nang-aapi ng mga ateng. Ang totoo nyan, love na love ko sila. Walang halong biro yan. At hindi ako sarcastic dyan. Sila yung mga taong for sure eh wala kang gagawin kung di tumawa sa sobran kulet nila :) May kwento lang ako na kasama ang isang ateng. Sa isang event...

Ateng: Ate, lika na dito. Puputok na yang boobs mo.
Me: *nabigla*
Say whut??? XD

Pati ba naman ikaw? Napansin mo na din??? T_T In fairness cute si Ateng. Sayang! Hahaha XD Wala lang. Nashare ko lang.

Best thing I never had By Beyonce

2011-06-06T01:33:00.002+08:00

How sakto :p

What goes around, comes back around, hey, my baby
What goes around, comes back around, hey, my baby, I say
What goes around, comes back around, hey, my baby
What goes around, comes back around

There was a time I thought, thought you did everything right
No lies, no wrong, boy I, must have been outta my mind
So when I think of the time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I, I saw the real you
Thank God you blew it, thank god I dodged a bullet
I'm so over you, so baby good lookin' out.

I wanted you bad, I'm so through with that
Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'm gon' always be the best thing you never had
Oh yeah, I bet it sucks to be you right now

So sad, you're hurt, boo hoo, oh did you expect me to care
You don't deserve my tears, I guess that's why they ain't there
When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and baby yes I saw the real you
Thank God you blew it, thank god I dodged a bullet
I'm so over you, baby good lookin' out.

I wanted you bad, I'm so through with that
Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
I said you turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'll never be the best thing you never had
Oh baby I bet it sucks to be you right now

I know you want me back
It's time to face the facts that I'm the one that's got away
Lord knows that it will take another place, another time, another world, another life
Thank god I found the good in goodbye

I used to want you so bad, I'm so through with that
Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
Oh you turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I will always be the best thing you never had
Oooh best thing you never had

I used to want you so bad, I'm so through with that
Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
Oh you turned out to be the best thing I never had
Oooh I will never be the best thing you never had
Oh baby, I bet it sucks to be you right now

What goes around, comes back around
What goes around, comes back around
Bet it sucks to be you right now
What goes around, comes back around
I bet it sucks to be you right now
What goes around, comes back around
I bet it sucks to be you right now

Lyrics source

Sponsor?

2011-06-06T01:25:00.003+08:00

Naisip ko lang magsponsor ng bata. Sshhh wag kayo maingay ah hehe. Nashare ko lang dito. Di ko rin planong sabihin kay mama. Well, hindi pa siguro sa ngayon. Meron kasing program yung officemate ko na pwede kang magsponsor ng bata. Pag-aaralin mo sya ng high school. 3K / year for 4 years. Naisip ko lang magshare din ng blessings kasi sobrang bait ni God sakin lately haha! :) Gudlak naman. Sana matuto na kasi akong mag-ipon :))

I miss you, Nay.

2011-06-06T01:18:00.005+08:00

Lately, namimiss ko si Nanay Anabel :( Sabi ni pakner, Ariane S, sya din daw. Si nanay yung patient na palagi naming dinadalaw sa UST hospital noon. Sadly, namaalam na si Nanay 2 years ago :( Nakakalungkot lang. Namimiss ko na yung mga nakakatuwang kwento ni nanay. Yung mga hirit ni nanay. Yung mga request nya samin na kanta na kantahin namin. Favorite nya na kinakanta namin eh yung Akap ng Imago. Namimiss ko na si nanay :( Ewan ko kung bakit bigla ko na lang to naramdaman. Pero namimiss ko talaga si nanay. Wag naman po kayo magpapakita nay kasi scared po ako sa mga...alam nyo na haha! :)) Pero alam ko na sobrang saya na ni Nanay sa taas :) Gusto ko bisitahin ang puntod ni Nanay sa NE. Hmmm makapagplano nga.

Dear God...

2011-06-06T01:02:00.003+08:00

Salamat po. Kasi parang lahat ng gusto ko sa buhay, unti unti ng natutupad lately. Dati, pangarap ko lang maging wedding singer. Simula last year nung may kumuha sakin sa kasal, naging tuloy tuloy na yung pagiging wedding singer ko na may point na hiniling ko eh sana naman maging bridesmaid din ako at hindi wedding singer lang haha! :))
Dati, pangarap ko lang maging bridesmaid kasi palagi na lang akong flower girl. Last year, naging bridesmaid ako sa kasal haha! :)
Dati, pangarap ko lang din magkaron banda. Ngayon, for reals, may band na ko :)
Dati, pangarap ko lang lumandi. Ngayon, parang todo todo na yung kalandian ko :))
Dati, pangarap ko lang makasama sa stage ang Philippine PhilHarmonica Orchestra. Sa November, matutupad na. Sana! :))

Di ko pala nachikka!!!! Nagsimula yan sa one day, isang araw. Si Donna, officemate ko, wedding organizer sya. Tapos ngayon, may isang wedding sya na inoorganize na tinataga daw yung ikakasal nung wedding singer. Parang masyado atang malaki yung sinisingil. Sabi nya, try ko daw magsubmit ng song na pwedeng pakinggan nung ikakasal. Nabanggit ko kasi ata sa kanya dati na pag kelangan nya ng wedding singer, sabihan nya ko bwahaha! Hindi naman ako atat kumanta no? :)) So nagrecord ako at binigay ko kay Donna. Guess what? Nagustuhan nung ikakasal!!! Sabi pa ni Donna, tanong daw nung ikakasal kung willing daw ba kong magpractice with PPO. Anak ng tokwa! Sino ako para tumanggi! Dream come true yun no! :)) Ayun lang. Sana matuloy po :)

Salamat talaga God. Kung ang isang bagay talaga ay para sayo, ibibigay ni God yun. Wait lang tayo hehe :) We just need to trust Him kahit mahirap :) Salamat ulit Master! Hihi :) Salamat po ulet God <3

Parasepra.

2011-06-06T00:39:00.005+08:00

One day, isang araw. Tinext ako ng ka-org / ka-BP ko na si Ariane S, si pakner - sya ang palagi kong kasama sa BP (org namin). Nagtatanong sya kung pwede daw akong kumanta sa isang event. Syempre ako, dahil pakner ko yun, oo agad ako. At syempre, alam naman nating lahat (alam nyo nga ba? haha!) na hilig ko talaga ang kumanta. In fact, music is my life. Kung walang music, boring ang buhay. Hindi ito magiging bearable. May ganun? :)) Anyway, hanggang sa pinakilala nya sakin ang Parasepra. Band ito na hinahandle ng BF nya na si Geel, na ka-org din namin. Ayun. Nagjamming kami. Nagpractice. Hanggang sa sinabi na lang ni Geel na posibleng isama na nya ko sa band in the future. Kaya pala nila ko sinama sa band kasi gusto nung organizer nung event eh may babae na kakanta. Ayun :)

Nung una, naiilang pa ko sa bandmates ko. 3 guys sila - isang vocalist, guitarist, and percussionist. Nung una din feeling ko hindi ako welcome. Feeling echapwera. Spell echapwera? XD Pero ng tumagal, medyo ok na. Naisama ko na nga si Bessy - bestfriend ko - sa gig namin nung Saturday. At ang lola, daming fans. Type sya nung guitarist namin bwahaha :)) Natuwa nga din ako kay Bessy kasi after nun, mas naging close pa sya sa bandmates ko kesa ako sa kanila haha! :)) Amazing ka Bessy. Haba ng hair mo :)) Ayun. First gig namin nung Friday sa isang Bazaar sa Morato. Biglaan na tumugtog din kami, same event pero kinabukasan naman, Saturday. Anddd sa Sunday, June 12, may gig ulit kami somewhere in QC.

Natuwa lang ako kasi matagal ko ng ginustong magkabanda. Sooobraaa. Natanong ko na nga si God kung bakit di nya ibinibigay yun sakin :)) Na hindi ba dapat? Ayan kasi excited much ako. Ibibigay din naman pala ni God in His own time hihi :) Thank you God. Sobraaang thank you. And kela Ariane S. at Geel, thank you so much love birds! :) ^_^At sa friend ni Ariane S. na organizer nung event, salamat! Kung di dahil sa request mo, hindi ako makakasama sa bandang to haha! :) Salamat po!

And sa band ko, naks band ko haha! Sa Parasepra, wag kayong magsasawa sakin hehe. Gusto ko lang naman eh kumanta haha! Anyway, please visit our FaceBook page pala: www.facebook.com/parasepra. Nagpromote? Hahaha! Kalurkey! :))

Ayun lang. Thanks guys and kay God :) Natuwa din ako kay mama kasi todo suporta sya. Wala na kasi akong pahinga lately. Hinahati ko yung oras ko sa work ko, sa band, sa friends, sa family ko. Pero sinusuportahan pa rin ako ni mother. Alam nya kasi na masaya ako sa ginagawa ko hihi. Thanks mom. But don't worry, kaya ko to hihi :)

Ayun lang. Nashare ko lang kasi natutuwa ako haha! Please support us guys hihi :)

Much love,
Sabel <3

I'm tired of playing games.

2011-06-05T22:58:00.004+08:00

I miss the old Sabel. The old me. The young and innocent and pure me. Bwahaha! :)) Kala mo naman kung anong nangyari haha! Pure pa naman ako. Medyo slight :)) Say whut? Hahaha XD Ah basta. Ang point ko eh..I'm tired of playing games.

I've been having this whatever relationship with guy1. I'm not really in love with him. And I actually don't like him. Narealize ko yan kelan lang. But somehow, I enjoy his company. Medyo slight :)) I mean hmmm...ok naman sya kasama eh. He keeps me..I dunno, alive? Bwahaha :)) He makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world, NOT. Charot :)) Hindi yan totoo haha! Marami din syang babae. Sa pagkakaalam ko :)) Inaaliw nya ko. Ayun. Yung ang term dapat :)) Alam ko namang hindi sya seryoso. Hindi rin naman ako. Pinagtyatyagaan lang namin ang isa't isa habang wala pa yung mga "the one" namin. LOL XD Pero may mga times na feeling ko eh he's going overboard. Na parang ang dating eh, pagmamay-ari mo ako? Parang gusto kong sabihin na, mag set kaya tayo ng rules no? Para hindi ka ganyan. Affected much? Minsan nafefeel ko eh may nararamdaman na sya para sakin. Hahaha! Amp! Feelingera much ever? Eh kasi naman..may time na magkasama kami tapos tingin sya ng tingin. Tapos yung tingin nya, alam nyo yun, may kasamang emosyon? Hahaha XD Hindi to maaari eh. Walang ganun dapat. Ayoko ng ganun. Dapat wala lang to lahat *sigh* Pero lately..ayoko na talaga. Kahit pa laro lang to. What's the point? There's no point eh. Mas gusto ko na lang bumalik sa state na single and not caring about my like or love life. Ngayon, hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko sa kanya. Paano ko kaya sya ididispatsa? Hahaha!!! JOKE LANG. Kapal na lafez ko grabey! :)) Pero ngayon, di na ko natatakot na magalit sya or magtampo sakin. Aba bahala sya. Kung san sya masaya. Go lang. Susuportahan ko sya :))

Meron namang isa, si guy2. Regular texter ko sya. Texter? Say whut? :)) May word ba na texter? Bothered? :)) Anyway, yun nga. Kainis nga eh, ayaw pa kasing maging VIP. Nasa regular pa lang sya :)) Kaya lang, kanina, na wrong send ang damuho :)) At ang nilalaman ng mensahe eh nagpaisip sakin. Naglalaro lang din ba sya? Pero natuwa ako kasi honest sya. Nung tinanong ko kung na wrong send, ayun umamin. Para daw yun sa isa nyang friend. In fairness, nakwekwento na nya ko sa friends nya :)) Maglelevel up na ba kami? LOOL XD

Meron ding mga nagpapahaging. Ang feelingera ko no? :)) Ay sya, di ko na lang iisipin na may something. Friends lang. Friends lang tayo dapat lahat. Except kay...guy2 haha XD Wag ko lang talaga malaman na naglalaro lang sya. Ayyyy naku lagot ka sakin. Masama akong magalit. Ipapakulam kita! Hahaha XD CHAROT!

Anyway, ayun. Parang ang landi landi ko na haha! :)) Ganto pala pag freelancer. LOOOOL XD Wala lang. Nakakapagod lang. Syempre adik ako. Nagrereklamo ako pag meron. Nagrereklamo ako pag wala. Ako na. Ako na ang reklamador :))

Ayan. Yan ang unang chikka ko :)) Si guy2 pala yung reason kung bakit medyo slight happy ako ng mga nakaraang araw :) Consistent sya in fairness :) Ayun lang. Hanggang sa susunod na chikka about my like life! Ayiieeeee! Hihi :) <3

Mabuhey! :)

2011-06-05T15:13:00.003+08:00

Grabey! Sa sobrang busy ko, hindi na ko nakakablog. Naipon na din ang mga chikkaness ever ko. 2 weeks worth of chikkaness ever! Ang dami ng nangyari o_O Work, life life, band life, friends, fiends. Hahaha :)) Coming up! Abangan. LOOOL XD

Gazillion stuff.

2011-05-29T05:00:00.001+08:00

I wanna blog about a gazillion stuff but I'm too tired and too sleepy to blog so I'll do it later haha! XD Churi naman :))

Congratulations Tabi honey! :)

2011-05-28T09:58:00.006+08:00

Syempre late ako sa pag greet pero it's better late than never diba? LOOL XD Anyway, congrats honey for winning the new comer award and the popularity award at the Baeksang Awards. I'm soooo proud of you oppa! :) You deserve it! ^_^ *hugs and kisses* More movies and TV series oppa! :) You're so great! Saranghe oppa! :)

Source: BBPH FB Page

Ang corny ko ba?

2011-05-24T09:43:00.004+08:00

Kasi naiinis ako sa nangyari kahapon? Reasonable naman yung reason ko diba? *sigh* Ayoko na lang palakihin yung issue kasi ayokong may masirang relationship. Pero...ngayon ko lang kasi narealize, parang hindi ako pinahalagahan. Ano pang silbi at kasama ako sa managers in training na yan? Anak ng tokwang malabsak. Magresign na lang kaya ako. Makapagjob hunting na nga. LOOOL. Kabadtrip T_T

Thou shall not provoke me...

2011-05-23T22:25:00.004+08:00

I've never demanded anything in my current job. I've always been happy at work. Well, of course sometimes you feel pressured, sad, stressed over it but generally, I'm happy. I've never had issues politically at work. Never demanded a higher salary. Never demanded a higher position. But I did demand for a company outing which is not only for me but for my teammates too. My point is whatever I have right now at work, I've never demanded for it. The only time I demanded something from work was at my job interview done by my company's HR. You also won't hear anything from me even if I work overnight, at the wee hours of the morning, late at night, or on weekends. I usually don't file 2, 3, 4, or whatever hours I did at home. The company, my boss, became too comfortable with me that I think they've somehow neglected me and my feelings. What I want to say is, not because I haven't demanded anything from work doesn't mean I won't get offended with your decision.

It's not jealousy. I think it's pride. I am not against her getting the position. SHE. DESERVES. IT. Than anyone else. She deserves it. Here's what I don't understand. Based from what I know, we have the same job level. And I don't wanna brag about it but I know somehow that I get more than her. And then suddenly, boom. She's my superior now. Isn't it awkward? Isn't it weird? I wouldn't have any issue if you just considered my feelings. If you just considered me not reporting to her anymore but reporting directly to you which is what I do ever since our supervisor resigned.

I am hurt. Especially when you announced in front of everyone in our Monday meeting that from now on, she's gonna do my quarterly (?) evaluation. What. The. Fudge.

I am blogging this because I need to get this out my chest. Because it's not funny. It's not funny anymore.

Your decision made me reevaluate my career. Where am I heading anyway? What's your plan for me? Or should I look for a new...I don't know. Please don't provoke me. *sigh*

I'm tired.

2011-05-12T14:16:00.000+08:00

Ayoko na. I don't want to do this anymore. Palagi na lang ganto. Suddenly, you'll give me this silent treatment. Like I don't exist. Without any valid reason. Dude, pagod na ko. Tama na. Ayoko ng gawin to sarili ko. *sigh*

Silent treatment.

2011-05-12T12:05:00.000+08:00

I hate it! Kill me now :(( Grrrrr...on second thought bakit di na lang ikaw ang magpakamatay? On third thought, wag na lang. Wala dapat mamatay haha! Grrrr...Hindi nakakatuwa. Naiiyak ako sa inis at sakit. ECHOS!

You're sooooo scared.

2011-05-11T22:57:00.002+08:00

Not to mention selfish too. Nai-blog ko na to dati sa multiply pero ibloblog ko ulit. Got this from Baby Pop manga. One great manga that you people should read if you're into mangas :) Here it goes:

"You're a coward. You can't accept me but you can't let me go. That's called owning yet killing."

Someone asked you kanina. Bakit hindi na lang maging tayo. Ang sagot mo? Hindi pwede. It's complicated. Actually, you're the one who's complicated. Ikaw yung nagpapagulo. Tapos ngayon ikaw pa ang galit grrrr...Sabi ko friends na lang tayo eh. Well, sabi ko sa sarili ko. Nakakainis ka kasi. Hindi ko alam bakit ayaw mong magseryoso. Hindi ba ko kaseryoseryoso? Pero nararamdaman ko talaga, malapit na kong mapagod. Malapit na kong magsawa. Isang araw, pag gising mo, wala na pala ko sayo. Too late na. Inarte ka kasi ng inarte. Mas maarte ka pa sakin. Grrr...

Wonderland by Natalia Kills

2011-05-11T22:49:00.002+08:00

This is love <3
I love this song and I love her :)

I'm not Snow White, but I'm lost inside this FOREST.
I don’t believe in fairy tales
But I believe in you and me
Take me to Wonderland…

California King Bed by Rihanna

2011-05-11T22:46:00.003+08:00

NOTE: Not the full lyrics. Just some excerpt.

Chest to chest
Nose to nose
Palm to palm
We were always just that close
So how come when I reach out my finger
It feels like more than distance between us

Just when I felt like giving up on us
You turned around and gave me one last touch
That made everything feel better
And even then my eyes got wetter
So confused, when I asked you if you love me
But I don't wanna seem so weak

Unfair! Amper tsong! Amper!!! Madaya!!! :(

Dear Tabi :)

2011-05-08T13:49:00.004+08:00

I wish I could make love to you hahaha! Omgeeeee what did I just say? Bwahaha :)) Anyway, I was entering my room and was singing: "Judas! Judaas Judas! Judaas" and I suddenly stopped because Tabi was staring directly at me with that freakingly cute face o_O And I was like, "Oh please! Stop staring at me!" And yes I was talking to my desktop wallpaper. Deym! Hihi :) Oh! And here's the wallpaper I'm talking about...

Photo Source: bbspazz tumblr

Good job!

2011-05-08T10:49:00.005+08:00

I would like to congratulate my mind and my heart for doing a good job! Hahaha :) I'm ok na. Ang galing galing ko na makipagdeal sa kanya. I'm so proud of myself :) Close friend na lang ang turing ko sa kanya. And mas masaya ako na ganto na lang kami :) He's my ex now. Ex boylet haha! Feelingera much? :)) Ayun lang. Excuse me while I search for my next boylet haha! Booyah! :D

INXS: Napansin ko lang. Funny how I tag my post about him with love life eh hindi ko naman sya love. Like life kaya? Hahaha XD

Dear Mom...

2011-05-08T10:42:00.003+08:00

Happy mother's day! :) Thank you for everything :) Sa suporta, sa pagmamahal, sa time, sa attention, for being a wonderful mom, for being the coolest mom ever. Thank you! :) And I'm sorry for being pasaway most of the time. But I love you mom. I really do :) *hugs and kisses* ^___^

And to all the moms out there, happy mother's day po! :)

And to my future mother-in-law aka Tabi's mom, Happy mother's day mom. Bwahahaha XD Yeah, me is delusional hahaha! :))

Matinong usapan.

2011-05-07T02:22:00.002+08:00

See? Kaya naman nating mag-usap ng matino? Ang simple simple lang kasi bakit ba natin pinapakomplika pa. Diba? Friends? :)

GAME over!

2011-05-06T14:24:00.001+08:00

Insert sincerity to continue. 10, 9, 8...GAME over! Sana mapanindigan ko. I thank you! *bow*

This emptiness.

2011-05-05T16:53:00.007+08:00

For someone who has been single for like ever since she was born (haha!) like forever, having the chance of experiencing the "kilig" because of someone and...thinking na the feeling is mutual dahil naglalandian kayo, magkausap kayo parati and sheez, is something new to me. Thinking back, hindi na pala sya new. Madami na rin pala kong nakalandian hoho XD Anyway, that's not my point. My point is, nasanay akong mag-isa. Ikaw na ang single halos buong buhay mo. Ewan ko lang kung di mo pa magawang maging independent. Kung hindi mo pa magpag-aralan mag-isa. Of course I have friends. Pero syempre nagkakalove life din naman yung mga kaibigan ko. Ako lang naman ang loser samin haha! :p Belat to myself bwahahaha! So yeah. Natuto akong magmall mag-isa. Manuod ng sine mag-isa. Magshopping mag-isa. And ng magpapierce ako eons ago, I was alone. Alam nyo yun, kung pwede lang mapreggers, manganak at magkapamilya ng mag-isa, siguro nagawa ko na LOL XD

May point sa buhay ko na ayokong maging dependent sa company ng friends ko. I know kasi na hindi naman kami forever magkasama. Na may kanya kanya din kaming buhay. Andun din yung times na pilit kong maging strong. Kahit may mga bagay na hindi ko kayang mag-isa talaga. Pero pinipilit ko. Hanggang sa I became a very independent and strong gal. Well, sa opinion ko lang naman haha! :)

Kaya ko naman mag-isa, kung hindi nga lang nagkalintik lintik at napressure ako lately. Etong mga nagmamaganda kong mga kabarkada ay sabay sabay na nagkajowa. At inaapi nila ang inyong abang lingkod. Nung una, kaya ko pa. Tipong kibit balikat lang. Pero habang tumatagal, nakakainis na. Sila, may umaalalay sa kanila sa mga kilos nila. Hindi sa sinasabi kong hindi ko kayang alalayan yung sarili ko. Kaya lang minsan, masarap din naman yung chillax ka lang at iba naman yung iintindi sayo. Yung ganun bang pakiramdam. Pero hindi. Sariling kayod ako palagi! :)) Dun sa point na yun ko naramdaman yung emptiness. Yung emptiness na pilit kong iniignore. Yung emptiness na pilit kong itinatago. Tinatabunan ng pagliliwaliw, pag gala kung saan saan. Yung emptiness na iningingiti ko na lang para hindi ko maramdaman.

Lately, meron akong naging kalandian. After ilang years, nakaramdam ulit ako ng butterflies in my stomach. Nagkaron ulit ako ng premature ventricular contractions. Syempre pinaganda ko lang yan. Pero ang ibig sabihin lang nyan eh kumabog ang dibdib ko. Hindi ko alam kung dala lang ba to ng pressure. Dala ng sulsol ng mga kaibigan ko na bakit hindi ko daw i-try. Dala na rin siguro ng kadesperaduhan (lol haha!), nagpadala ako sa agos. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko naman talaga sya type noon. Nadala lang ako kasi mabango sya haha! :)) Christmas season nun. Di ko alam kung dala lang ng lamig ng pasko but the first time we made physical contact (hindi to sex utang na galang :)) ), it felt warm. Alam nyo yung parang may mainit na humaplos sa puso nyo, sa pakiramdam nyo. And it was all warm and fuzzy after that. Actually, hindi ko alam na entrance pala yung sa isang roller coaster ride. For months, he kept me guessing. We kept playing games. Hanggang sa umabot sa point na nagulat na lang ako isang araw eh nasasaktan na ko. Na hindi pala to wala lang sakin. Na may emotions involved na sa part ko.

PAUSE. Hingang malalim. Tawa. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ok back to my kwento.

Feeling ko dumating ako sa point na nasa borderline na ko ng like at love. I also felt things, emotions I haven't felt before. Hanggang sa naumpog ako. Natauhan sa kagagahan ko. Hindi sya seryoso, bakit ako parang gusto ko ng maging serious ng onti? He's been very vocal of not being serious. And I appreciate his honesty. It was all my fault anyways. Nagfeeling kasi ako. Ayan tuloy haha! :p Belat to myself ulet. Sa nakaraang linggo, ilang beses kong pinilit magmove on na. Pero may mga bagay na nangyayari, mga ginagawa nya, na pumipigil sakin para magmove on. Kaasar diba? Pero this week, dahil ayoko ng masaktan ng ganun. nagchillax ako. And I must say na mas naging madalas yung communication namin this week. Pero that doesn't change the fact na kelangan ko ng tumigil sa kagagahan ko. Narealize ko lang na, I'm tired of being his option. Kung kelan mo ko kelangan, dun ka lang magpaparamdam na drama.

Nagmunimuni ako. Kung bakit hirap ako magmove on. Kung ano next step ko. Ang dami kong narealize. Isa sa mga dahilan ko kung bakit ako kumakapit, kaso natatakot akong bumalik sa dati. Natatakot akong bumalik yung emptiness. Natatakot na kong mag-isa ulit. Mas masakit kasi yung ganung pakiramdam. Mas nakakalungkot. Mas nakakapraning. Ayoko na ulit maramdaman yung emptiness. Ayokong magback to zero. Ayokong bumalik sa state na maghahanap ulit ako. Tipong maiisip mo, mas tatanggapin ko pa yung kalokohan na to kesa bumalik sa dati. I am traveling a path na alam ko sa dulo eh dead end naman. Mas gugustuhin ko pang lokohin ang sarili ko kesa humanap ng bagong daan. Parang ganun.Pathetic diba? Pero ganun talaga eh. Hindi naman all of the time eh malakas ako. May mga bagay bagay din na hindi ko kaya, nakakasakit, at nagpapalungkot sakin.

*buntong hininga*

Well anyway, nakakalungkot isipin na babalik ulit ako sa state na yun. Pero it's better this way na din. And we're better off as friends. Sana lang, dumating na yung inaantay ko bago pa man ako matuyo haha! :)) Feeling ko kasi nagliliwaliw pa sya. At sa sobrang adventurous nya nakalimutan nya na may mission pa syang kelangang gawin. Ang paibigin ako. Naka naman! Nakakadiri Sabel! Hahaha :) Yun lang. Over and out :)

Back to square one.

2011-05-05T15:03:00.002+08:00

Feels like something's missing. It's like there's a huge hole inside your chest. A huge space inside your brain. It's there waiting to be occupied. Like a monochrome picture or a blank canvas waiting to be painted. That's how I feel right now.

Parang gusto ko na ulet mainlove hoho :) Back to square one kasi back to scratch na naman sa paghahanap ng boys wahahaha! Hunter? :)) Nakakastress eh. Kahit sabihin kong di ako naghahanap, pero pag nasa labas ako naghahanap ako ng cute =)) Pwede bang totally hindi na lang ako maghanap? Mga after 5 years na ulet. Pag 26 na ko =)) Rerendahan ko muna ang puso at mga mata ko haha! Ilalaan ang kalandian ko kay Tabi at kay Tabi lamang. Pwede ba yun? :))

Confused. Bothered.

2011-05-01T22:43:00.003+08:00

Ewan :)) Ummm...mas madalas kami mag-usap nitong nakaraang 2 days. Mas madalas magusap tungkol sa mga walang kwentang bagay :)) Bago para sakin yung mga nangyayari kasi hindi kami ganto dati. Hindi ko alam kung for reals na ba to or wala lang. Dahil wala lang kaming magawa. Perooo...ewan ko. Parang ok na sakin na ganto kami. Hindi na rin ako masyadong umaasa. Ewan ko nga eh. Narealize ko kasi na parang hindi naman ata kami nagtutugma sa mga gusto namin sa buhay. Iba yung trip nya. Iba rin yung trip ko. Baka kasi kaya nangyari yung mga nangyari eh pinipilit ko kasi yung hindi dapat andddddd na we're better off as friends siguro? Hindi ko alam eh :)) I'd like to be with someone kasi na spontaneous...adventurous. Parang di naman kasi nya trip manuod ng movies na trip kong gawin. Hindi sya mahilig gumala na trip ko din gawin at kumain as in ng pagkain haha! Na trip ko din gawin. Andun yung feeling na boring. Anong pwede naming gawin na maeenjoy naming dalawa diba? Ewan ko. Or baka hindi ko rin kasi sya ganun pa kakilala kaya ganun. Or baka hindi ko na rin kasi dapat ipilit? Or hayaan ko na lang kung anong mangyari :)) Bahala na si batman at superman pati si robin...hood :))

Starting all over again.

2011-04-30T12:27:00.002+08:00

Due to unexpected turn of events, nasira lahat ng plano ko :)) Pero tutuparin ko yung sinabi ko. Wala na. Hindi na. Sumusuko na ko. Pero wala naman akong sinabi na hindi ako pwedeng magsimula ulit diba? :) So I'm starting all over again. And sana this time, maging ok na lahat. I don't wanna mess up this time. Baby steps. Baby steps :)

Tinamaan ng magaling!

2011-04-30T00:04:00.003+08:00

And now the clock strikes twelve
It's hard but I'm saying goodbye :(

Wala eh. Ganun talaga. Gaano man maging sabaw yung utak ko, wala eh. Hindi ako pinansin kahapon :(

ALERT! ALERT! Shemaiiiii na malagkit na may kasamang glue at toyo! Nagchat 7 minutes after ng araw nang taning ko. Ngayon lang. Anong gagawin ko? :(( Hindi. Test lang to ni God. God naman, bakit sobrang mapagbiro Kayo? :(( Hindi ko na alam iisipin ko. Nakakapanghina. Way ba nya to para gumanti? Mahuhulog ulet ako tapos poof, joke lang ulet lahat.

Ganto na lang. Iisipin ko na lang, walang halong malisya lahat ng mangyayari simula ngayon *sigh* Tapos...magsisimula ulit from scratch. Ah basta ganun. Pasensya na, nasasabaw na naman utak ko.

FROM SCRATCH. Hi I'm me and you are?

Royal Wedding bow

2011-04-29T17:46:00.000+08:00

KJ ba ko? Kasi kasiiiii...hindi ako interested sa wedding na to :)) Sorry na. Loser ako :)) Sorry bwahaha :)) Good luck to them na lang :) Basta ako, ang masasabi ko lang: I don't want to be a princess. I just want to be his queen. Nakkkkkssss!! Corny mo Sabel :)) By the way, hindi ko kilala kung sino man yang "his" na yan :)) Para yan sa future "his" ko =))

ULTIMATUM ng lahat ng ULTIMATUM.

2011-04-29T09:06:00.003+08:00

Bago ako matulog, si Catfish ang naiisip ko. Punyemas, pag gising ko sa umaga, si Catfish na naman! Utang na galang Lord! Tama na po :( Ayokong maging ganto :( Ayokong masad :( Ayokong mamiss sya pero namimiss ko sya, pramis! :( Ayokong magexpect na maguusap ulit kami pero nageexpect ako. Nakakadiri na ko. Kahit ako sa sarili ko nandidiri na. Gusto ko ng isuka ang sarili ko kung pwede lang :)) *sigh* Malala na ata ako. Bakit kasi parang nawala yung harness? Bakit parang nagfreefall na ko? Hindi nakakatuwa! Not funny! Dalawang araw na kong sabaw. Sabog. I need to stop! This is crazy! I am crazy :)) Ah shit. Magbibigay na ko ng ULTIMATUM. As in. Pag today, in any way ay hindi nya ko kinausap, hindi nya ko hinanap, or sinabi ang pangalan ko or something, pag today at wala akong natanggap na something sa kanya, chats or whatever, wala na talaga. Susuko na ko. As in. Kahit ayoko, susuko na ko. Last na to. I need to put an end to this craziness kasi hindi na talaga nakakatuwa *sigh* Sabi pa man din nung isang kilala namin: "Feeling ko kayo magkakatuluyan. Basta nararamdaman ko." Bwisit. Bwisit. Hindi na ko aasa. Gadddddddddd :((

I miss you buddy! :)

2011-04-28T19:53:00.003+08:00

Ang sweet namin ni Buddy hihi :)

Me: miss ya buddy!
Me: *hugs*
Buddy: i miss you pakner *hugs* sobra

Natuwa lang ako kaya dapat i-share :)

Your chat...

2011-04-28T00:10:00.004+08:00

Made my heart beat faster. Kaya pala nilalamig ako kanina. At hindi mapakali. Magchachat ka pala haha! Premonition? :)) Kahit work related sya. Natuwa ako. Nag-hi ka. Sinabi mo yung name ko. Wala lang. Syempre alam ko talaga para akong tanga :)) Sorry na. Sorry. Namiss ko lang kasi. Kahit alam kong nagpaparamdam ka lang. Paano ko nalaman? Hindi ka naman nag-upload. Ginawa mo lang atang excuse yun haha! Miss mo ko? Okei lang yan. Miss din kita =D Kahit kagaguhan yung nangyari satin noon. I'd still say yes? Haha! Wala eh. 난 여전히 당신을 좋아해요. Bwisit ka kasi. Inaabangan ko pa din kung late ka. Kung magoonline ka. Kung umalis ka na. Iba pa rin yung pakiramdam pag naririnig ko yung boses mo. Napapamura ako lately kahit hindi naman ako nagmumura. Ikaw kasi eh. Kasalanan mo to! :))

Very inspiring!

2011-04-28T00:05:00.001+08:00

Very inspiring! I cried while watching it :( How come we waste our lives and hate our lives just like that when some people wish to have what we have? T_T

And i wonder if i ever cross your mind for me it happens all the time...

2011-04-26T14:52:00.002+08:00

Soooo unfair :( I miss your chats. Punyemas! Akala mo lang hindi ako nasasaktan. Pero nasasaktan ako :)) Uggghhhhhhhh! Mabuhay ako! :))

Much better now.

2011-04-25T22:36:00.003+08:00

I am much better now. Nakakatulong talaga yung hindi ka nakatunganga sa bahay :)) Konting araw pa. Magiging ok na din ako :) Pero may isang bagay akong kinakatakot na feeling ko pag nakita ko yun eh magyayaya na naman ako ng inuman :)) Pag nakita ko syang may kasamang ibang babae hoho XD Wag naman agad agad. Bigyan mo ko ng mga 1 month =)) Ang pathetic ko. Nakakainis :))

God wants you to know...

2011-04-23T15:19:00.001+08:00

On this day of your life, Isabel, we believe God wants you to know ... that it's time you let go.

Yes, of course, you want to control so everything happens in just the way you want it. But at the end of the day, we control nothing, - it's all in God's hands, - has always been, and will always be. So, do what you can, and then let go, and let God handle the rest.

Okei. Duguan na ko :))

Happy 2nd! :)

2011-04-23T14:29:00.003+08:00

I can't believe I've been stalking and loving you for 2 years now! :)) Proof? Check this post I made 2 years ago haha! 2 years with you and Big Bang! And counting! Can't wait for more years to come. I believe I'll be forever a VIP! :)

NOTE: Obviously, the pic's not mine. There's a max on it hihi. I don't exactly remember where I got it. All I know is I got it from Tumblr T_T

I don't want Monday to come.

2011-04-23T00:10:00.002+08:00

I still need to practice my fake smiles and laughter. I'm not ready yet. My heart's not cooperating with my brain :( I just feel so sad :( Gaddd! I need to stop thinking :( I can't believe myself. After all the things you've said T___T I think I need you now. Fuccckkkk! T_T

The truth is...

2011-04-23T00:03:00.004+08:00

When you were injured, I was worried sick. I wanted to run towards you and check if you're ok. I wanted to comfort you. I wanted to accompany you to the hospital but I stopped myself. I am not you're girlfriend and I don't want to create a scene. But I really was worried and wanted to be there for you. Does that count as me playing? Do you think it's a game for me? If I was playing, I wouldn't care a bit about you. I wouldn't ask if you're okei days after the incident. It's just unfair. I thought we're on the same page. Guess I was wrong. You were just bored. You were just playing. And yes, you were just bored.

Soul searching...

2011-04-22T19:32:00.003+08:00

Ang kahulugan ng soul searching sakin ay ang magpakalayo layo. And yes gusto ko na naman lumayo :)) Kahit ayokong maging affected, affected ako eh. Kelangan ko ulit i-brainwash ang makulet kong utak at kulahin ang makulet kong puso para maging puti na to at di makaramdam. Drama! :)) Uulit ulitin ko. Hindi ako in love. Disappointed, yes. Sad, yes. Hurt, yes. Pero hindi ako in love. Nakakainis lang kasi eh. Yung taong hinayaan mo somehow eh makapasok sa bakuran ng puso mo, pagkatapos ng malakas na tsunami na dumaan, pagkatapos ng mahabang panahon, eh hindi ka naman pala siniseryoso. Sabagay, siguro kasalanan ko din. Nagfeeling kasi ako. Ayan ang napapala ng mga assumeter na katulad ko hahaha! :))

Ayokong walang ginagawa kasi hindi ko maiwasang maisip yung mga nangyari. Matawa sa kagaguhan ko. Mainis sa mga sinabi mo. Hindi makapaniwala na manggagaling sa isang tulad mo ang mga salitang iyon. Dear Ate Charo, bakit ang drama ko? Hahaha XD

Last na to. Ayoko na ulet magpost ng kung ano anong shit tungkol sa pulpol kong love life. Kung love life nga ba ang tawag dito or kalokohan / laro lang bwahahaha!

Oh well, papel. Ganyan talaga ang buhay. Kelangan kong mag-ipon at gusto kong magsoul searching ng bonggang bongga! Tagaytay? Baguio? Palaui Island? Hong Kong? Singapore? Malaysia? Cambodia? Sige gudlak. Sana mapuntahan ko sila lahat this year :))

Movie marathon

2011-04-22T19:30:00.001+08:00

Tidal Wave
Sanctum
The Last Airbender
Virgin Snow
What's next? Hmmmm...
Nuninuninuninuninu.

Holy week...

2011-04-22T19:27:00.003+08:00

Nakikisabay ang puso at isip ko sa Holy week hoho. Malungkot din ito T_T Drama! :))

Kahapon nagvisit kami ng mga simbahan and nakinig ng Siete Palabras sa TV kanina. And yes matatapos na rin ang 40 days. Pwede ko na din ibalik yung ginive up ko wahahaha XD Bitch ko! :)) Peace tayo Lord :D

You asked me if I was happy...

2011-04-21T16:41:00.002+08:00

Kung mababasa mo lang tong blog ko, malalaman mo yung totoong nararamdaman ko. Pero sana hindi mo na mabasa kasi lagot ako pag nabasa mo to haha! :p Pero hindi pa naman ako talo kasi hindi pa naman ako in love. Pwede namang gusto lang kita pero hindi mahal diba?

Kahapon, tinanong mo ko kung masaya na ba ko? Kung masaya ba ko kasi niloko kita. Tingin mo? Mukha ba kong masaya? Tingin mo natutuwa ako sa ginawa ko? Well, tama ka. Masaya nga ko haha! :)) Pero kahit na masaya ako, nasasaktan ako sa ginawa ko. Hindi ako ganung klaseng tao. Pero sino bang nauna mang-gago? Hindi ka maiinlove? Ginagawa mo lang lahat kasi bored ka? Ang mainlove talo? Ewan ko ah. Pero hindi ba masakit malaman na lies lang pala lahat? Masakit kaya sa EGO yun haha! =)) Kala mo ang ganda mo, yun pala hindi! Akala mo meron, yun pala wala! :)) Kainsulto much yun ah.

Pero hindi ako nagsisisi na ginawa ko yun. Binalik ko lang naman yung ginawa mo. Kaya lang ngayon ko lang naramdaman na minsan, kahit tama na yung ginagawa mo, masakit din pala. Akala ko kasi puro saya lang. Yun pala kahit papano masakit din. Tsaka sayang eh. Ang daming nasayang. Ang dami pa sanang pwedeng nangyari. Kaya lang, wala eh. Olats. Natapos agad. Nakakahinayang lang.

Mukha lang ako masaya, well, masaya naman talaga ko haha! Pero nasasaktan din ako nanghihinayang. Why do we have to end up this way? Sayang. Sayang talaga.

Turning Tables by Adele

2011-04-20T23:24:00.003+08:00

SWAK eh. Sobra.

Close enough to start a war
All that I have is on the floor
God only knows what we're fighting for
All that I say, you always say more

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't rescue you, you to just desert me
I cant give you, what you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables

Under haunted skies I see you
Where love is lost, your ghost is found
I braved a hundred storms to leave you
As hard as you try, no I will never be knocked down

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no
I won't rescue you, you to just desert me
I cant give you, what you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
Turning tables

Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
When the thunder calls for me
Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
Standing on my own two feet

I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no
I won't rescue you, you to just desert me
I cant give you, what you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables
Turning tables, yeah
Turning, oh

Catch Me I'm In Love Movie

2011-04-19T22:53:00.002+08:00

I admit, I never enjoyed local movies. Ang corny kasi. Ewan ko ba kung bakit. Pero dahil sa suggestion ni Unni, pinanuod namin tong movie na to. Wala. Talo ako sa movie na to. Tawa ako ng tawa. As in tumataginting na halakhak. Ume-echo sa buong sinehan. Grabe. Maloloka ako. Bakit ang sweet kasi ni warden at kamahalan? Punyeta kayo :))

Who do you think you are?

2011-04-19T22:33:00.002+08:00

FROM the song Jar of hearts by Christina Perri:

"No, I can't take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that's waiting is regret"

"Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul"

Seriously, who do you think you are? Maiintindihan kita kung kalevel ka ni Tabi. Pero hindi eh. Hindi talaga. As in hindi. I don't entirely blame you. I know may fault din ako. Pero who do you think you are para paglaruan lang ang mga tao dahil bored ka? Who do you think you are? Tapos pag ginago ka, nababadtrip ka. Unfair naman tsong. Tabla tabla lang. Walang pikon. Digital na kasi ang karma ngayon. You deserve what I did to you. At least nakaganti na ko. Sayang ang mga luha at kilig ko bwahaha! :))

Your only mistake...

2011-04-19T13:51:00.002+08:00

Was to mess with me. By now, tingin ko nagegets nyo na yung nangyari :)) Oh well papel. It just so happen na yung Catfish ko ay isa palang bilasa at nabubulok na isda. He just wanted to play cause he's bored :D And here I am playing with fire. Ang mali lang nya, I am a very vengeful person :)) Hindi nya naisip at naconsider na pwede ko syang tablahin :D Ganyan talaga ang buhay honey :))

I'm tired...

2011-04-18T23:44:00.002+08:00

But I'm gonna play this game. I'm gonna play it. Tama pala ko sa simula pa lang. Balewala lang ako sayo. At wala ka talagang kwenta :)) Sayang naman ang mga kantang inalay ko sayo. Sayang ang mga luha na nailuha ko na. Naks! Drama! :)) Sayang ang oras at panahon. Sana nung una pa lang sinabi mo na. Na gaguhan lang ang lahat. Eh di sana di ako masyadong nagsayang ng oras. My time is precious ya know! :))

Sige na...

2011-04-18T14:01:00.001+08:00

Ikaw na! Ikaw na ang may-ari ng puso ko wahahaha :)) Char lang. Hindi pa ko in love. Papunta pa lang...siguro :)) SMEEELLLLLL! Wahahaha XD =))

My weird but cool parents...

2011-04-17T21:53:00.004+08:00

Nagkataon na nasa kwarto si Mama at Papa at nagcocomputer ako. Bigla kong naisip magtanong kay Mama...

Me: Ma, magjojowa na ko.
Mama: Eh di ok. Kahit nga mag-asawa ka na eh. Mabuti yun para may apo na kami ni Papa mo.
Me: *napailing* Eh Pa, paano kung bigla kang magka-apo? Anong gagawin mo?
Papa: Mabuti nga yun. Matanda na kami. Para naman makita namin ang apo namin.
Me: *di makapaniwala*
Papa: Maganda din na isipin mo yung future mo. Isipin mo na dapat may mag-aalaga sayo pag matanda ka na. Mahirap yung mag-isa ka lang.
Me: Pa, apo lang. Di ako mag-aasawa.
Papa: Panget naman yung ganun. Maganda yung legal.
Me: Ano be. Bat napunta sa apo *tawa* Jowa lang yung sinasabi ko :))

Di ko alam kung dapat ba kong matuwa hahaha :)) Pero ayan. Legal na. Ok lang akong mag-asawa at magka-anak hahaha! Kaya lang ayoko pa wahahaha :)) Just in case lang na maiba ang ihip ng hangin eh hindi na ko dapat mag-alala kasi ok lang kela Mama at Papa. Panalo! Apir my dear parents :))

It's more than just a crush...

2011-04-16T11:53:00.004+08:00

But it's not yey love :) I know. I just know. And I will feel it naman pag naglevel-up na yung nararamdaman ko. Pasensya na ah. Lately, puro sa love life kong kasing bagal ng snail ang takbo ang binabanggit ko. Please bear with me hahaha! :))

Naghahanap ako ng kanta na babagay sakin. Sa isang kanta lang ako bumagsak na matagal ko ng alam na bagay sakin. Bakit ba kasi ako nagpilit pang palitan yung kanta ko.

Ilang beses ako nag-attempt na palitan ka. Sa kakapilit ko, ilang beses na kong muntik mapahamak :)) Sorry naman. Sige na. Ikaw na. Ikaw na lang :)) Sa ngayon isa lang ang sigurado ako, ayokong magsisi. At ayokong kumanta isang araw ng "the one who got away". Ayoko. Tama na yung may isa akong the one who got away hahaha! :)) Pero bata pa ko nun. Naman. Patawarin ako :))

I don't want a replacement. I just want a reset. Hindi ako sigurado pero I may have hurt you dati and I'm sorry. Kaya siguro ganyan ka ngayon. I'm sorry for all the bullshit I pulled on you. I know na what I want. And ikaw yun. NAKSSSSSS!!!! Kadiri to death!!! Potaness ang corny ko :)) Tapos yung susunod na post ko dramaness na naman kasi feeling rejected na naman ako haha! Amp!

Potaness!

2011-04-15T15:45:00.002+08:00

Kalma lang Sabel. Kalma lang. Kalamahin mo ang loob mo wahahahaha XD Potaness talaga :)) Isang araw na lang sa linggong ito eh. Nasira pa. Hindi ako nagdradrama. Hindi talaga :)) Wahahaha :)) Pakshit!

22...

2011-04-13T23:29:00.002+08:00

Pwede naman na siguro akong maglandi no? 22 na ko eh hahahahahaha =)) Ay shittt....bakit????? 21 pa lang pala ako :)) Ampnessssss!!! Dagdagan ang sariling age? :))

Speechless ang Catfish ko :))

2011-04-13T15:48:00.007+08:00

Hindi ko pinlano to. Basta na lang nangyari. Sabi ni Catfish ang ingay ko daw. Mga ilang beses nya inulit. Eh high ako ng time na yun. Sinagot ko sya.

Sabi ko: "Bakit ba lagi mo na lang akong pinapansin? Lagi mo na lang pinapansin yung mga kilos ko? Ano ba? Ano ba talaga?" [Gusto ko sanang idugtong. Ano ba? May gusto ka ba sakin? Pero nahiya ako kaya bitin na lang. Puro ano ba harhar :))]

Tapos sabi ni Mel (officemate / college classmate ko): "Mahal mo na ba ko?"

Eh high nga ko so naisip kong sabihin yun sa kanya, kay Catfish: "Ano ba? Mahal mo na ba ko?"

Tahimik sya. Wahaha! Natawa na lang ako. Winner! Tapos mega parinig na naman ako. May inaantay kasi kami, yung isa kong officemate.

Sabi ko: "Ano ba? Ang tagal mo. Lagi na lang akong nagaantay. Wala na kong ginawa kung hindi mag-antay."

Tapos mega react itong officemates ko: "Wooooooahhh!"

Wolo long haha! Ang saya ko na sana. Kung hindi lang kami sinita ng guard ng building namin. Wala kasi kaming ID. Lecheng guard. Hmp. Panira.

Magkakasya na lang ako...

2011-04-12T21:22:00.001+08:00

Alam kong bawal magdrama pero hindi naman ako magdradrama haha! Slight lang :)) Magkakasya na lang ako sa amoy wahahahaha XD At least man lang yun, naiiwan sakin. Kawawang bata :)) Tsaka sa himas sa ulo. Takte. Ano ba meron sa ulo ko or buhok? Hahaha XD Wolo long! ^_^

A friendly reminder...

2011-04-10T23:09:00.002+08:00

Dear Self,

Just a reminder, NO MORE DRAMA tomorrow. Okei? Don't you dare forget about your promise to yourself and to Jessica :D

You can do it! Stay strong! Be in control! You can do it! AJA! AJA! Fighting! :)

Love,
Self

Bati na kami ni...

2011-04-10T23:06:00.003+08:00

Mother. Nung Thursday pa. Nakalimutan ko lang i-share :)) Para lang kaming tanga. Kinausap nya ko bigla nung nakalabas na ko ng gate ng bahay namin. Papasok na ko sa work nun...

Ma: Kamusta?
Ako: Eto buhay pa.
Ma: Ah buhay pa. Ok.
Ako: Late ako uwi sa mga susunod na araw. Busy sa work.
Ma: Ah ganun ba. Ok.
Ako: Ok. Bye.

Wahahahahaha! Tapos nun, ok na kami. LOL XD

Catfish Movie

2011-04-09T14:51:00.002+08:00

I've had lots of friends whom I met online. Nagloloko pa nga ko sa mga officemates ko na bakit ba ko lapitin ng mga tao sa kung saan saang lupalop ng mundo? I've met lotssss of people. Meron pa nga I've had, well..a...I dunno how you call it pero nagkaron kami ng something. Sobrang daming nangyayari online lalo na sa chat and mga convo kung saan saan.

This movie...well...aminin na natin, minsan sa buhay natin, nagpanggap tayo. Mapa-online man yan or sa totoong buhay. Once, ginawa natin yan. Magpretend. Nagkaron tayo ng ibang identity. Nagpanggap. Nagsinungaling. Nakakarelate ako sa girl sa movie. Kasi minsan talaga, nangyayari yun. Nagkakaroon ka ng kalandian. Kinikilig ka tapos in the end you'll find out, hindi mo pala talaga trip yung tao. Or hindi pala talaga sya yung sinasabi nyang sya.

Naaawa ako sa kanya na naiinis. Imagine yung receiver nung prank nya. Ang sakit nun. Parang everything was all a lie. Ang hirap na magtiwala.

Salamat kay Toper (officemate ko). Parang wake-up call na din. Mag-ingat sa mga taong namemeet mo online hehe.

Magugustuhan ko daw to. Nagustuhan ko naman talaga. Pero ang di ko makakalimutan na sinabi ni Toper eh cat fish ko daw yung isang tao. Malalaman ko daw kung ano yung cat fish pag pinanuod ko yung movie. And yes nalaman ko na. And yes, sya nga ang cat fish ko.

Vince Pierce: They used to tank cod from Alaska all the way to China. They'd keep them in vats in the ship. By the time the codfish reached China, the flesh was mush and tasteless. So this guy came up with the idea that if you put these cods in these big vats, put some catfish in with them and the catfish will keep the cod agile. And there are those people who are catfish in life. And they keep you on your toes. They keep you guessing, they keep you thinking, they keep you fresh. And I thank god for the catfish because we would be droll, boring and dull if we didn't have somebody nipping at our fin.

Nililito mo ko. Nagiging restless ako dahil sayo. Namromroblema ako. Nangungunsumi. Pero kahit ganun, pinasaya mo ko at ang buhay ko at ang kadiri kong love life. Salamat. Kahit pinaiyak mo. Salamat :)

Source: IMDB

No more drama.

2011-04-09T12:21:00.003+08:00

I promise to myself and to Jessica (haha!) that there will be no more drama on Monday.
I will go back to my usual self.
To my happy and bubbly self.
On Monday, I won't expect anything.
I will act like nothing's wrong. [You hear me Tabi? That's your song haha!]
And I won't cry anymore. [Daesung ah! I won't cry anymore like the title of your song. Baby Don't Cry. I won't. Anymore.]
I will act like I'm not someone special.
Well, I was never special.
It was just me...assuming I was :))
I am STUPID. I know.
So, yeah. I need to convince myself this weekend, I have 2 days, that I'm not special.
That's he's like that to everyone.
I AM NOT SPECIAL TO HIM.
I AM NOT SPECIAL TO HIM.
I AM NOT SPECIAL TO HIM.
*repeats until my cells absorb the meaning of these words*
*repeats until fades*
And I don't wanna be this affected anymore.
Cause the truth is, I'm a bit sick.
I have colds from crying too much at my cubicle yesterday haha!
And my head hurts because of my TMJ :(
I keep controlling my tears.
Hence, the muscles on my face are pressured.
And it's not good for my TMJ.
For a long time, it hurts like hell.
Same with my heart hoho!
Anyway, yeah.
Let me drown away this sorrow so on Monday I will be ok.
No more expectations!
AJA! Fighting Sabel! :)

Heartless...

2011-04-08T14:08:00.002+08:00

I could spit million words to make you notice me. I could write forever about how I feel. I could cry a river because of you. But it will never ever reach you. You will never know how much pain you've caused me.

Sometimes, I wish was heartless. So I won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much.

Paano mo ba ibraibrainwash ang sarili mong brain?

Insensitive.

2011-04-07T16:26:00.005+08:00

I keep changing my YM status to let you know how I feel. From,

I miss you. [when you're not around or when you're late]

To,

Porque contigo yo ya iskuji? (Bakit ikaw pa ang napili?) [asking myself why you?]

And then,

Like a moth being drawn into the fire... [cause i don't know why i can't resist you even if i know you're not good for my heart]

To,

Hanggang dito na lang ba tayo? [you're confusing me. i've given signs but you're still not making a move]

Then,

Asan ba ko...sayo? [because it's complicated]

And I was like,

Kulang na kulang. [i need your attention. i need you to talk to me. to make my day]

And now,

Insensitive. [i don't know if you're really stupid or you just refuse to ignore the signs, my signs.]

When I think we're on the same page, you suddenly change and it confuses me. I'm not sure now whether to stop or just go with the flow or just don't care anymore.

Mudra...

2011-04-06T16:23:00.004+08:00

Warla kami ng nanay ko ngayon. Wala lang. Hindi lang ako sanay na hindi kami close at di masyadong nagpapansinan. Sya naman kasi naunang hindi mamansin :( Inaway nya pa ko. Ang panget pa ng reason kung bakit kami nag-away. Ang panget talaga. Basta ang panget. *sigh* Hindi naman ako super bothered kasi alam ko namang magbabati din kami pero medyo bothered lang ako. Pasensya na mother pero di lang talaga ako yung unang lalapit. Hindi naman kasi ako yung unang nagalit. Walangya! Anong klaseng logic yan? Hahaha XD Makipagmatigasan ba sa nanay? Huhu :(

Drama much...

2011-04-06T16:14:00.003+08:00

Feeling ko, mangungulit ka lang pag wala kang magawa at bored ka. Kung kelan naman ako kulang sa attention tsaka ka di nagpaparamdam :)) Leche much ka? *sigh* Nararamdaman ko na naman yung dati na parang nagagamit ka. Magpaparamdam ka pag gusto mong may fan ka. Kawawa naman ako. Lagi na lang ako ginaganto, ginagago. Drama much! :))

Ay, oo nga pala. Hindi nga pala tayo. Hanggang dito lang ako.

Sakura by Funky Monkey Babys

2011-04-05T21:52:00.002+08:00

I’m not really sure how I’ve come across this song…anyway I love love love this song ^_^ Give it a try and listen to it :) Such a sweet song.

LYRICS (English)

*Tears of gratitude are overflowing in my heart now
I want to protect you forever, forever
Cherry blossoms fall, they fall on us as we feel brand new
Let’s walk hand in hand forever, forever
Until the end of time…

I’ll speak from my heart now and tell you how I truly feel for the first time
I have these emotions, without any lies, only for you
It was so hard for me but I never showed it to anyone else
With you, I felt like I could shed all the tears I kept deep in my heart
From here on out, this path we’re walking on together
Will be full of happiness, sadness and many other things
But you’re not alone anymore because I’ll protect you forever
You gave me all this strength that I have now

(Repeat*)

How many times have we watched these cherry blossoms?
I want to see them again next year and the year after that
I want to see the future we’ve been building up together all this time
The spring wind blew gently and softly caressed your hair
Your smile is precious to me, I want you by my side forever
At first I only had my own dreams, but now I share yours
So my dream now is to protect you until yours come true
I’m sure we’ll fight sometimes, but we’ll make it through each one
Just making you happy is everything to me

(Repeat*)

As the days roll by me it feels like I’ll lose sight of them
But when I look at you a smile suddenly appears on my face
I’ll never forget that small joy

We met, we laughed, and inside our clasped hands
We softly, softly warmed our love
After winter, we started walking together on this path
Where the cherry blossoms fall forever, forever

Tears of gratitude are overflowing in my heart now
I want to protect you forever, forever
Cherry blossoms fall, they fall as we feel brand new
Let’s walk hand in hand forever, forever
Until the end of time…

Lyrics Source: jpopasia.com

Why by Avril Lavigne

2011-04-05T21:45:00.001+08:00

Kinda medyo swak XD

"It's not supposed to hurt this way"
*sigh*

Migraine by Moonstar88

2011-04-05T21:10:00.002+08:00

Dahil kulang ako sa pagmamahal...at inaalat ako...

Oo nga pala,
Hindi nga pala tayo
Hanggang dito lang ako
Nangangarap na mapa-sayo

Hindi sinasadya
Na hanapin pa ang lugar ko
Asan nga ba ako?
Andiyan pa ba sa iyo?

Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba 'ko sa'yo?
Aasa ba ko sayo?

Nasusuka ako,
Kinakain na ang loob
Masakit na mga tuhod,
Kailangan bang lumuhod?

Gusto ko lang naman,
Yung totoo
Hindi po ang sagot,
Ay 'di rin isang tanong

Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo?
Asan ba ko sayo?
Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo?
Aasa ba ko sayo?

Dahil 'di na makatulog (makatulog)
Hindi na makakain (makakain)
Dahil 'di na makatawa (makatawa)
Dahil hindi na...

Oo nga pala, hindi nga pala tayo
Hanggang dito na lang ako

Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Asan ba ko sayo?
Nahihilo, nalilito
Asan ba ko sayo? Aasa ba ko sayo?
Nahihilo... Nahihilo...
Nalilito...

Love Song by Big Bang Teaser

2011-04-04T14:17:00.001+08:00

Fuck! Imagine this...you and Tabi making love. EPIC! Wahahaha!!! Omgraveeeehhh!!! This teaser is sooooo..orgasmic :))

Stupid Liar by Big Bang Teaser

2011-04-04T14:00:00.001+08:00

Omgeeeeee! I can't get over this song teaser! I need to hear the whole song now!! Rawwwrrrr o___O I love you Big Bang! :))

Isang madibdibang usapan...

2011-04-04T00:40:00.001+08:00

Chat with friendship not so long ago :p

NUMBER 1---

friendship: puro ka bitterness
friendship: ano beh iinom na yan
akes: isa akong naglalakad ng ampalaya
akes: wala eh ganun talaga ang life
friendship: hahahaha
akes: kay *toot* bitter pa talaga ko
akes: at habang buhay na siguro ako magiging bitter
friendship: may care ka parin sknya
akes: kanino?
akes: dami ko kasing binanggit na boys in just 5 minutes
friendship: kay *toot*
akes: ahhh
akes: hmm
akes: pano ba
akes: wala na eh
akes: wala na talaga
akes: i dun ker
friendship: bat may bitterness
friendship: parin
akes: nakakainis lang. pag maaalala mo yung ginawa mo para sa isang tao na binalewala. parang..exam lang yan na naibagsak mo..you dun ker na kasi may life ka na
akes: pero pag naaalala mo
akes: nandun pa din yung inis
akes: na nag-aral ka ginawa mo lahat tapos bagsak ka pa din
friendship: ahhhhhh
akes: hanep sa analogy
friendship: hahaha sabihin ko sana yan

NUMBER 2---

akes: alam ko na kung bakit hindi ako makaletgo kay besfren
friendship: ket
akes: kasi after a very long time, after kay *toot*...ngayon ko lang ulit naramdamang kiligin sa totoong tao ngayon lang ako nagkaganito at ngayon ko lang hinayaan yung sarili kong maging ganto ulit...at sa kanya lang...to think na sobrang iningatan ko talaga wag magfall sa iba kasi masakit talaga...punyeta ang drama ko!

Update about the recycling chruva...

2011-03-31T16:25:00.002+08:00

So di rin ako nakatiis. Pinuntahan ko din si friend na nanghihingi ng HELP T_T

Nakipagmeet muna ako sa best friend kong si Bessy at nagchikahan muna kami habang ako hoping na may sweldo na, which is nagkaron na nga mga bandang 9pm :)) After namin magchikahan ever, nung pauwi na kami, sabi ko kay Bessy, txt mo nga kung buhay pa si friend na problemado. Magkaiba kami ni Bessy eh. Sobrang worried sya kay friend samantalang ako chillax lang. Sabi ni friend andun daw yung isa namin kabarkada sa bahay nila. Naisip na rin naming dumaan since malapit lang sa bahay ko yung bahay ni friend.

Pag dating namin, nakangiting pinagbuksan nya kami ng pinto. Ang bungad ko talaga agad: Yan ba ang may problema? Ang saya saya oh. Kayo kasi mega panic ever. Which nag-agree naman yung isa kong kabarkada na nasa bahay na nila kanina pa. Natawa na lang kami. Nawala na rin bad trip ko. Nagpakwento na din ako kung anong nangyari. Wala naman akong bagong nalaman. Ganun pa rin naman, asshole pa rin naman si guy.

Hindi ko alam kung magiging sila pa ulet pero so far hindi pa sila ulet today. Sana lang, hindi masyadong maaning yung kabarkada ko. At makayanan kung for reals na talaga to. Tsaka ko na sya icocomfort ng bongga pag wala na talaga hoho.

Recycle.

2011-03-30T16:59:00.004+08:00

Recycle - cause to repeat a cycle. Yan ang sabi ni Google. Yan ang definition ng recycle. Yan ang nangyayari ngayon.

May kabarkada ako, sabi nya HELP. Ang prob nya same old shit, ang boyfriend nya, ay EX na pala, for now. He dumped her daw. And I was like, ok. Same old shit. Ganun naman talaga sila. Parang switch. On. Off. On. Off. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung this time eh pundido na yung switch at hindi na ulit mag-oon.

Feeling ko ang sama ko. Minsan, natatawa na lang din kami pag nagsasabi syang break sila. Magpupustahan pa nga kami kung kelan magiging sila. Minsan, naging super caring na kabarkada na din ako. Halos naprapraning din ako pag naprapraning sya sa BF nya. Naprapraning ako pag umiiyak sya. Sobrang nag-aalala ako. Todo payo ako. Lahat ng pwedeng mahalukay na payo sa baul na pwedeng i-apply sa kanya, sinasabi ko. Paulit ulit. Ganun palagi pag tumatakbo sya sakin. Eh yung ilaw ko na nagrerepresent na pagiging listener ko napundi na din. Di na nag-on. Dumating sa point na, medyo wapakels na lang ako slight pag nagbrebreak sila. Masisisi nyo ba ko? Sinubukan kong maging mabuting listener kahit sobrang hirap nito dahil likas na talker ako. Sinubukan kong maging mabuting tagapayo. Sinubukang maging mabuting kaibigan. Pero anong nangyari? Bumabalik pa din sya sa EX nya. Paulit ulit. Paulit ulit. Hindi ako OA kung sasabihin kong mahigit 10 times na silang on and off. Kahit ata si Confucius, macoconfuse na. I mean what the fuck diba? Bumabalik pa din sya sa EX nya. Eh anong silbi ng payo ko? Anong silbi ng pagiyak nya? Ng pagrereklamo nya kung wala rin naman syang gagawin kung hindi bumalik sa EX nya. Nagbago ba yung issue nya ng EX nya? Hindi. Kaliit liitang bagay, pinagaawayan. Hirap din kasi sa kabarkada ko, nagger, parang ako haha! Pero seriously, kakapagod lang.

Tapos ngayon nagreply ako ng kalokohan. Serious daw sya. Todo payo naman yung iba kong kabarkada na missing in action noon at ever present ngayon. Ako pa ngayon ang lumabas na walang kwentang friend. Hahaha! Good job.

Wala lang. Naiinis lang ako. Nagrereklamo sya. Magsasabi ng HELP. Major panic naman ang iba. Sorry naman. Alam kong big deal sa kanya yung problema nya. Na kelangan nyang maglabas ng sama ng loob. Pero naisip ba nya na masakit din na ibasura nya yung mga payo namin sa kanya? Naisip ba nya na pinili naman nya yang path na yan so dapat di na sya magtaka kung masaktan sya? Diba dapat ready na sya?

Ewan ko. Tingnan ko na lang sa mga susunod na araw kung anong mangyayari. Pag this time, seryoso na yung nangyayari, baka magtransform na lang ulet ako to a very dakila na friend.

Oh, and there was this time na sobrang nag-alala kami ng bestfriend ko at hinatid naman sya sa kanila at ibinilin sa parents nya dahil nagbabanta sya ng suicide. Kung alam nyo lang kung gaano kami nag-aalala. Tapos ilang araw lang, sila ulit. Parang walang nangyari. Bongga! Bang!

Porque by Maldita

2011-03-30T15:29:00.010+08:00

Tulala lang sa’king kwarto
At nagmu-muni-muni
Ang tanong sa’king sarili
Sa’n ako nagkamali

Bakit sa’yo pa nagkagusto
Parang bula ika’y naglaho

Chorus:
Porque contigo yo ya iskuji
Aura mi corazon ta supri
Bien simple lang iyo ta pidi
Era cinti tu el cosa yo ya cinti
Ta pidi milagro, vira’l tiempo
El mali hace derecho
Na dimio reso ta pidi yo
Era olvidas yo contigo

Ang lahat ay binigay ko
Ngayon ay sising-sisi
Sobra sobra ang parusa
Di alam kung kaya pa

Wag nang lumapit
At tumawag pa at baka masampal lang kita
Di babalikan
Magsisi ka man
Ako ay lisanin

Porque contigo yo ya iskuji
Aura mi corazon ta supri
Bien simple lang iyo ta pidi
Era cinti tu el cosa yo ya cinti

Bakit ikaw pa ang napili
Ngayon ang puso ko ay sawi
Kay simple lang ng aking hiling
Na madama mo rin ang pait at pighati

Sana’y magmilagro
Mabalik ko
Mali ay maiderecho
Pinagdarasal ko sa’king puso
Na mabura na sa isip ko

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This song...grabe. Ang ganda. Ang ganda nung boses ng kumanta. And medj nakakarelate ako. Pero medyo lang :))

Bakit sa’yo pa nagkagusto
Bakit ikaw pa ang napili
Ngayon ang puso ko ay sawi

I'm not in love, yet. I just like someone and well it's a little complicated. Magulo. Parang hair na hindi naaarawan :)) Magulo kami pareho. Para kaming nagpapatintero. Alam ko rin na hindi dapat ako magpakalunod ng sobra dahil hindi naman ako sure kung lokohan lang to or merong something talaga. Pero yeah, it's giving my non existent love life a hope. Some light. Some color kahit violet, black, at green ang color. Bwahaha XD

My love for Tabi...

2011-03-30T00:24:00.003+08:00

Is not pure anymore T_T Dati, sobrang pure ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya na hindi ko magawang mag-isip ng kahit na anong green kay Tabi. Pero simula ng mag tumblr ako, oo makasalanan ang tumblr, bukod pa sa nangangain ito ng oras, naging perv na ko :)) As in perv muchie much. Jusko maloloka ako sa mga tao dun. Nakakaloka in a good way kasi nakakatuwa din sila. And pareho pareho na kami haha! Naglevel up na yung love ko for Tabi. May kasama ng pagnanasa. LOL. Sino ba naman na babae ang nasa matinong pagiisip ang hindi maiinlove sa tulad nito? Lalo na yung tulad ko na walang matinong pagiisip hahaha! I love you Tabi honey! :)

Due to...

2011-03-29T23:51:00.003+08:00

The bad weather...char! Hahaha :p I am thinking of blogging in Tagalog ulet since nanonosebleed na ko sa tumblr ko kasi English yung ginagawa ko dun para maintindihan ako ng ibang VIPs (Big Bang fans) :p So yeah, Tagalog naman dito :) Expect Tagalog posts and some changes. Magiging mas brutal ako. I think hahaha :) :p

Kinda fucked up...

2011-03-23T00:15:00.002+08:00

So I'm kinda fucked up right now.
My grandma's in the hospital.
My nephew's sick.
Our trip is canceled because my grandma's in the hospital and we need to take care of her.
A person I don't really like is coming home from abroad.
I'm poor boohoo.
I'm emotionally fucked up.
I'm becoming more evil everyday.
So yeah. I'm kinda fucked up right now.
*sigh*

Hoping :)

2011-03-15T14:20:00.002+08:00

An officemate invited me to perform in one of his gig. I really really hope that I can perform :) I would really really love to sing. I'm keeping my fingers crossed ^_^

My mom's son-in-law...

2011-03-12T21:23:00.007+08:00

I told my mom to remember you...because you're my mom's future son-in-law. Hahaha XD Hi Tabi honey =p

Source (picture): I'm not sure. I think I got it from www.bigbangupdates.com :)

Tabiaahhh!

2011-03-12T21:19:00.001+08:00

Comfort me! Hahaha XD LOL =p

Source: 2crazy2function.tumblr.com

Is sad :(

2011-03-12T20:58:00.003+08:00

There's another reason why I'm sad. I never knew I was feeling that way until mister alcohol helped me realized what I really felt for that someone. It hurts to be ignored after everything that happened. I don't know if it's my heart that's hurting or my pride lol XD I acted desperate again and I hate myself for that :( I never learn my lesson do I? :(

I don't wanna fall for someone anymore :( Except for Tabi hoho :) I cried again. After a very long time, I cried again. I think it's my pride hurting too. How dare you do this to me? XD *sigh*

I know I don't have the right to feel this way. There are lots of problem out there. Bigger problems that people are experiencing and here I am ranting about my heart and pride :( Sorry. I just want to share to help ease the pain. I don't want to be bothered anymore :( Gad T_T

From now on, I will try to forget about that guy. I will try to move on with my life. I will concentrate on my family, friends, career, traveling, and helping. I don't want to fall again. Never again :( Aissshhhh...it's all my fault. I allowed myself to fall. Stupid stupid me T_T

OK. That's it. Over and out haha XD

What is happening to the world?

2011-03-12T20:27:00.003+08:00

Earthquakes here and there. Calamities, tsunamis. It's so heart breaking looking at pictures of Japan right now :( Watching videos of the earthquake and the tsunami that happened yesterday. Looking at pictures of burning houses while being swept away by the water. God please help us. God please help Japan. I am no Japanese. I don't have someone I know that lives in Japan but I love Japan and it's culture. I love them. If there is one place I would love to visit, Japan's number 1 in my list. That's why it's very sad and it hurts seeing Japan like this :( Let's us pray for Japan. JAPAN! Ganbatte-ne! Stay strong! We are with you!

If you think about what is happening around the world, it's really scary. You can't help yourself but think if it's really true that the world with end next year 2012? It really is scary. So many people dying :( I don't know what to think anymore. All we can do is be prepared. Ready our hearts and soul. We must be strong whatever happens. God is with us. He will help us.

Sometimes, I ask myself, why today? Why in this generation? I mean why will the world end in this generation? Why not when I still wasn't existing in this world? Why not after I die? Things like that. But yeah, we're really not sure if the world will end next year. Nobody knows. We can take what is happening right now as a warning. That nature is coming back at us for being bad. Like a wake-up call. I don't know. I just hope that when the time comes and we need to say good bye to this world, I hope we are all ready. Our hearts are ready. Let's not forget to pray everyday and to pray for Japan and for other countries who are currently experiencing major crisis. God be with us. God, please help us :(